Oct
How can I help her?, she appears to be nearly in denial and does not want to discuss the matter and I feel I’ve to respect that, but at the same time her condition is treatable (with combined radio and ceamo therapy) and while she did undergo some of that treatment she does not feel she has the ability to bring herself to go through with it (it left her as weak as a kitten and I had to help her to her feet, the fact that she lives on the top floor of a block of flats and there’s no lift worries me)
I’m left wondering how i can help her, she seems to take the view that what will be will be and this might be a religious conviction (she is jewish) and i feel I have to be very care full how I approach this, anyone any ideas please, could someone from the jewish community advise me please, my friend is from the home of Israel.
Answer:
You don't say what kind of cancer this lady has or who has told her the condition is treatable. Maybe the treatment is of a palliative nature rather than curative and maybe this isn’t so much refusing treatment rather than declining a regime that would lead to loss of quality of life with no guarantee for improving her outcome.
It is often difficult to accept someone we care about is dying, and the medical profession too, sometimes finds it hard to cease offering more and more treatments that have tremendously debilitating effects with little significant result other than prolonging death.
Either way, your friend is making a choice, and she’s very much entitled to make this choice. The main things to ensure is a)it is a fully informed choice and b) she is well supported in her choice.
You could ask her (she might still choose not to answer), if she feels she's been given all the options and why in the end she's decided not to have further treatment. You could then ask her what kind of support the hospital have offered her, in light of her choice, such as symptom control medications and input from the Community team e.g. MacMillan nurses etc. as well as from the religious community.
Your concerns about her housing should be less of an issue as long as the community support is in place, people can be managed very well in home environments as long as they have sufficient help, this is where MacMillan can help by providing help & advice.
I hope things will improve for your friend and that she's at peace with her decisions and that you find a way to accept them for her, and for you.
Answer:
poor lady i know what she is going through,i was diagnosed with throat cancer last year and was so scared about the treatment and that too was chemo and radiotherapy combined and thankfully i am now in remission.the treatment really wore me down and i spent 7 months in hospital last year,give her a tiny more time to consider it and hopefully she’ll come round to the idea of treatment,i really hope so as they can do so much more now for cancer than ever before.
Answer:
See if you can contact her religious community and possibly an elder of the church will come to visit her. This might not change her mind but it might provide solace to her. Try to help her with the practical things of life like shopping etc. If she chooses to let it run its course that’s her decision. Respect it.
Answer:
We have a family member that has just found that she has lymphoma.
She is 75…six months she was also diagnosed with alzheimer.
Which of the evils should prevail?
Maybe she might be terminal..or just has no will to fight.
Some of our relatives say it is best not to fight the cancer.
Answer:
Does she have any family members you know that you could talk to. There may be a member staff at the hospital who can offer some sort of counseling to make sure she understand fully the implications of refusing treatment.
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Fatalism doesn't have anything to do with what religion you are.
Unless it endangers someone else, people have the right to choose according to their own insight.
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Not sure what advice to give, but just so you know, Judaism does not ever state that one should refuse medical treatment or do anything to endanger ones life.
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This is her choice, bottom line. THe most you can do is make sure she’s aware of her options, and then support her choice.
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Do you’ve a Hospice in your area, if so give them a call and they will be able to answer your questions, and offer some help.
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my brother has liver cancer and he just doesn't want to go through all the hoops of “a cure”.So far he has out lived his terminal date by 3 years we just accept and try to respect his wishes.
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If she feels she no longer wants to be treated for her cancer, that is her choice. Chemo and radiation can cause such devastating side effects that all quality of life is lost. Probably she's chosen to have more quality of life, knowing that she'll have less time.
My father went through chemo and radiation; after a few months he refused any more. I would have loved to have him around longer, but I didn't want to see him suffer any more. I respect his choice to let nature take its course.
Besides support from you, other friends/family, and her synagogue, is she receiving help from hospice? The goal of hospice is not curing the disease, but maximizing the patient's quality of life for whatever time is left. Hospice can provide needed services, like personal care, hooking the patient up with resources so she can remain at home instead of going to a hospital, etc.
Tell your friend you support her and her decision. Help her in any way you can to like the time she has left.
Answer:
my mom in law has breast cancer and her daughter got her this stuff called willard water (it seems to help her pretty good). You can order willard water just ask the people at your local herb shop or gnc store.
HINT::::
the docters won’t tell you about this.
My sister in law found this because a man that she knows HAD lung cancer and he drank this each day and never took a single treatment and his cancer has disappered…
you mix one ounce of willard water to a gallon of spring water and drink it throughout the day in replacement to your normal 8 glasses of water. and see what happens
it is still good although it smells like wild mushrooms you can't even taste it. it is pretty expensive but well worth it
Answer:
Possibly try a homeopathic approach.