Feb
I miscarried at 19 weeks 4 weeks ago.
I work on a labour ward/ante-natal ward/post-natal ward and the ante-natal clinic.
Yesterday was my first day back. I had to go down to histopathology to do some filing in a mobile casenote library just near it, that's where Ruby is at the moment.
Ever since yesterday I can't stop crying. but I was fine before.
Should I take one more day off can I get sacked for that? Help i cant go back i just cant ive been crying all morning but darent ring in sick over something that isn't a 'physical illness'
What would you do? xx
Answer:
I'm so sorry that you’ve had this experience, and your working conditions must make it very difficult. You're right, you don't 'get over' a loss like that, it just becomes a part of you rather than a massive and painful thing you carry around with you.
I'm not sure which country you are from, but here in the UK you would be granted time off if you get signed off by your Doctor and I am sure they would think about this a good case for doing so. It might not be a physical illness but it is something that’s preventing you from being effective at your job - perhaps you could talk to someone in HR and see if you could be given other duties until you feel able to go back?
You've got a long road in front of you and I wish you each luck with it.
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Ah you can't go in, people don't just need time off for physical illness a bereavement is just as important a reason and you’re grieving at the moment. I'm sure if you call and explain to work they will comprehend, yesterday must have been very difficult for you. Also it might be worth speaking to your GP about some counselling and maybe some anti depressants to help you in the short term
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You are not over the miscarriage and working where you do will only bring back bad memories. You Must see your doctor. You need help and he can sign you off work for a while longer until you feel stronger. Just because you don't have a physical illness does not mean you are not ill. Please go to your doctor as soon as you can. You will get over this but you need some help. Best wishes
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sorry to hear you’ve had a magor set back! honestly if you get the sack for something that really is a health problem that just isn’t fair! you should make an app with your doc and he’ll sign you off! take all the time you need to get stronger i understand that working in 'that' feild could be terribly upsetting for you! you need to ask yourself if your job is worth all the upset and misary you’re feeling! take your time to compose yourself and give them a call! they should really understand! all the ideal! **********
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oh my darling,
hunni, fone work and explain what u have told us, then make an appt with ur doctor.
seriously hunni, dont goback to work until u feel ready, u will never get over loosing ruby hunni but it will get easier, remember she’s always with u and she is going to help u through this.
talk 2 ur doctor my love, dont rush anyhting,xxx
u knwo where i am if u need me babe xxx
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So sorry for your loss. You should be able to take some leave on compassionate grounds. You really need to talk to a councillor at work, the hospital has to have one, make an appointment and take it from there. In the meantime speak to your boss about it. This website should help sandsvic.org.au
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Im am so sorry to hear that i cried reading it and to have a job there with it all around you i cant even imagine being there either. you need time to heal maybe you should speak to your boss and even see if you can get some time off to heal. my thoughts are with you xoxo
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oh you poor thing
dont go, honestly tell them the truth, you know you might be depressed but not fully realise? book a doc appointment and go talk to someone , i'm positive your work will comprehend, you’re in a very tough position right now.
xox my thoughts are with you!
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You're not ready to begin back work yet hun.4 weeks isn't long enough after what you've been through.
They can't sack you,you're not well.
I hope you take more time off to come to terms with the loss you have suffered.
Hugs to you xoxoxoxox
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I'm so sorry for your loss, i'm sure if you explain this situation to your manager that they’ll understand you need some more time to recover mentally, you need to chat to a councilor about this, good luck.
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yes. call your GP first and get an appointment for this day (urgent appointment). then call your job and tell them. you can try and talk to someone you are close to there.
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I would get an emergency appointment with the physician and get signed off work for longer, you obviously aren't ready for work again just yet.
I hope you start feeling better soon x
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Does your job grant days off for mental health? I'd see your ob/gyn and he/she can refer you to physician that can help you with your depression. Try to join a support group.
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http://fitanswering.moltion.com
A very informative website you can also get much information in website
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im sorry to hear your news ring in sick and explain to your supervisor/manager they’ll defo under stand!!
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you need a break. when you come back ask to be temporarily shifted to another section if that's possible.
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Oh you poor darlin, i really feel for you. That must have been so hard to deal with.
Is your boss sympathetic and if you explained what happened and that you just need some time, would s/he give it to you?
Can you explain what happened and ask that you don't do duties that include things like that until you’re feeling more up to it?
Is there any other excuse you could use like a sick child to care for?
I don't know what your workplace is like but surely they wouldn't sack you over 1 day knowing that you just went through a horrible ordeal.
Good luck
Answer:
I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope I never live to feel the pain you must be in.
There must be someone at the hospital that you can call and explain how you feel? I'm sure they’ll understand and if they don't just tell them you’ll take it out of your holidays or something.
I'm sure they’ll understand though, it's not an easy situation to deal with and I'm sure they wouldn't want to place you in that kind of environment just yet if you cannot deal with it.
With time it will get easier to deal with, I'm sure, but for now, just ask that they give you more time to grieve.
All the best with everything hun, I hope you start to feel superior emotionally soon. It's a long process but if you don't grieve properly, it will only take longer to begin to heal. x
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I am sooo sorry you are having to go through this. I have had two miscarriages but both were very early. I’ve never really gotten over them but got pregnant again shortly after and it helped me cope. I can't imagine what it must be like to actually see the baby afterwords. I think you should let your manager know what you’ve said here and take some extra time off. 4 weeks just isn't enough, especially when you work so close to all those babies. I am praying for you and hope that you get pregnant again when you’re ready. I know that you will NEVER get over losing Ruby, but it will get better in time. Again, I’m so sorry. Please email me if you ever want to talk.
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hello hunni…
i will tell you what i would do…
I would book yourself an appointment with the Dr. get him to sign you off work. You are not emotionally ready to deal with situations at work yet. Do people at your work know whats happened…because if they do, they’ll comprehend hun. I think you need to deal with your loss before you consider doing anything!
it cant be easy working on a maternity ward … you’ll be constantly reminded on whats happened…i think you need to do something which will distract you and get you thinking of something else!
Please dont go to work…. You are not ready yet! xx xxx
Answer:
So so sorry for what you've had to go through!
I’ve to first point out that anyone, including your managers, would be more than understanding about how you feel. You just need to express to them how you are feeling rather than keep it in and pretend that you're OK, otherwise how would they know? I'm sure they will comprehend and be more than happy with you taking off more time to get over what you've just been through.
Speak to your manager and tell him/her that your still not ready to go back to work, you don't need to feel guilty for needing more time off.
And like a lot of others have stated seeing your Dr would be a very good idea..He should also sign you off of work for a few more weeks at least. You need to grieve for Ruby and counseling will help you. I doubt being at work will help you at the moment due to the nature of the job.
I hope everything works out for you! And sending you LOADS of Cuddles and Baby dust! xxxxx
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Aww
My sister miscarried for her first time a few months ago and she got over it. She’s again pregnanat and she’s 9 weeks pregnant now.
You'll get over it and I think it's a good idea to go back to work. You're apt to get pregnant again. Keep on trying & good luck.