Sep
hi, im in shock as i have just found out im pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend almost 2 years, we live together and at the mo im at college, i want to go to uni next year.
We both wanted the same thing, good career, good home and then after a few years have kids. He really wants me to have an abortion and has brought up great points, we’re not ready, dont have enough money, in the middle of education and so on. im 26 he’s 31. The thing is i don't agree with abortions and don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling regret and ashamed. I know its not the right time but its happened. I know i wouldn't be able to give it up, so im just trying to come to terms with the situation and the hand i have been dealt. Right now i feel i have ruined his life as he only speaks of devastation. Not sure he’ll ever come round to the idea or he’ll only stay with me through sense of duty. Just feeling really confused right now. Any words of advice would be appreciated please.
Answer:
no one is ever ready or has enough money for a baby, but you do the ideal you can.
people regret having an abortion but no one regrets having a child.
you can make it work, it would be difficult and not what you planned but its still possible.
im 19 & pregnant, just starting my education and not as financial stable as id like to be, i wasnt sure if i would have an abortion either but in my heart i KNEW it couldnt kill my child.
when i heard my sons heartbeat it was astonishing and i know i made the right choice.
my boyfriend is supportive and so are our families and even though i would have prefer to wait, i know the day i hold my son everything will fall into place. Im just going to have to work harder then most people
do what is right for you, its your body and YOUR CHOICE
good luck
Answer:
you state you don't concur with abortion. you cant to go to university and get a good job. If you did have an abortion, would you be able to move on and forget it and concentrate the best you can give at university. If not, have your baby.
I am 29 and I am starting Uni on monday. My boys are 5 and 8, in full time school and they are so proud of me going to uni.
Good luck whatever you decide, follow your heart
Answer:
When i told my partner we were going to have a baby he almost collapsed but NEVER once did he ever make me feel bad or to blame(we were both there) If I felt like i was being pushed to abort my baby I would have left him. Do whats in your heart. That baby is growing inside of you, its your decision.
Answer:
well, no advice will be a good advice for you regarding this issue.
you’ve to be sure what u want, as you don't want to regret your actions in the future.
although money is an important issue when it comes to children, but remember that 3 years down the line, you’ll certainly think that you made a mistake by having an abortion.
hear it from me, i wanted to do the same 4 years ago with my second child, i was in a total mess, but couldn't go ahead with it.
my daughter is so Precious to me that when ever i think about what i wanted to do, i get shivers.
everyone goes through rough times in their life, but choosing the simple option is not always the way to go.
good luck either way
Answer:
hi talking to some one who got preg why on the pill and father told to get rid of it i am now 4 months preg i am happy i didnt because i would have felt so bad too he dont want to know but who cares as long as you know how much work it is u can still do all your studying and stuff it mite just take a bit more time for u thats all and yeah he mite not be happy right now but when he has a son or daughter in his arms he should feel very diffrent good luck hun xxx
Answer:
CONGRATULATIONS!! In all honesty there’s never a right time to get pregnant and no matter how prepared you think you are it will cause 'devastation' in your lives . . .but its a good devastation. My ex went mad when i refused to even contemplate abortion and went on about how it was his life too etc etc but at the end of the day i didnt want to have to live knowing that i had got rid of my baby for selfish reasons.
My son is now 4 and we both adore him he’s such a joy to have around. I went back to uni and have almost completed my degree and will still have a great career its just a few years later than i had anticipated which is fine because i have a beautiful tiny boy to show for those years.
No matter how much you and your boyfriend love each other and no matter how guilty he makes you feel it is your decision and you are the one that’ll ultimately have to live with it. None of the reasons he has given you are good enough reasons to terminate, and im talking from experience. Try and work out how you can finish your education with the baby, talk to your family and explain to him why you cant do it. He’ll go mad and talk about how you’ve ruined his life but once he gets his baby in his arms it will be a different story altogether.
Good luck!!! Get the people around to support you and everything will work out just fine!
Answer:
your 26 not 15 how did you get pregnant did he use protection?
i cant decide for you but at your age getting pregnant in the future might be more difficult if you’ve an abortion.
i had my first at 17 she’s almost 16 now i worked part time and was at college.
i also have a 6 year old and im nearly 13 weeks pregnant,
money isn’t great we manage but its struggle,do what you want to do in your heart only you can make that decision.
look at this way,a fetus has a heart beat from 6 weeks i saw my baby's at 5 weeks 6 days could you abort a baby with a beating heart and still live with what you did
Answer:
'I have ruined his life'?! It takes two to make a baby. He needs to take responsibility. If he isn't prepared to, you have to ask if you really want to be with someone like that anyway?
Uni, money etc. can wait, whereas a baby can't. Don't get rid of it and possibly regret it for the rest of your life. Many many people don't go to uni until later these days (I'm one of them!).
Embrace what has happened. See it as part of the larger picture. Life happens, be prepared to change plans!
Answer:
Oh Congrats on being pregnant, although its not the right time.
Its is wonderful to have children but i totally understand the timing is so bad.
i too am agianst abortion and even though i feel very sorry this has happened you abortion should not be the answer.
you could always give it for adoption.
heck ill take him/her lol 
I think you may need to sit down with your boyfriend and really !! talk this through, as if there’s any way you can afford this baby, and Postpone school. or there is childcare. you could do a part time cause, few days a week and send your child to day care?
As im sure having an abortion, and dealing with the stress and feeling down with yourself for doing it willl not help your study anymore then having this baby will.
i hope you find an answer that’ll work out for all.
all the best
Answer:
The reason you’re feeling regret already is because you know abortion wouldn’t be the right thing to do. You love this man and a child with him will only complete and fulfill your love. You’ll never be ready for a child nor will you ever truly be able to budget but when you select to have a baby believe me the money comes and you will be very suprised at how it does. You can still go to school don't let having a family stop you from your dreams of an education or career. Having a child will give you more reason than ever to get a superior education and career because you’re not just thinking of yourself anymore you have a child to set an example for and be a good role modle for so go for it. A child also will help you to be more mature and complete in this world they have the ability to offer you so much more than you ever thought possible. The love they give is unconditional and the smiles you will see and the laughs they have the ability to give will make your hard days feel easier because they offer you love when you didn't think you would feel it and they don't ask much of you only that you love then back. Kids are mini you's and bring you so much joy in a world that needs love and joy so be thankful you have such a sweet tiny blessing coming in your life you deserve it.
Answer:
This is tough, I feel that you’re both old enough to be able to deal with the idea of having a child, but if one or both of you’re dead against the idea there is a chance that the presence of the child will cause resentment and a feeling that you are missing out because of the child- but at the same time there is also a chance that when you both see your child for the first time all of that will not matter a jot.
I could never advise someone to go ahead with an abortion, I think that there are better options, you can put the baby up for adoption for one. I know you’ve kind of considered it, but you seem to have rejected that as an option as you stated you could never give it up. I think you need to think about this very seriously. You cannot erase this with an abortion. Your partner can quite easily as its is not his body that a child is going to be ripped from. An abortion isn’t a pretty thing and I think if a woman has one it must affect her for the rest of her life, unless she’s absolutely heartless.
A friend of mine told me to have an abortion, she said it is just cells - I personally can't think like that it is a baby end of story.
It is possible to have kids and go to uni - I did it. I’m married have a 5 year old daughter and I have one semester of uni to complete. However I feel pregnant and have had to put my education on hold for a year, but there was never any doubt that I was going to do that. I have every intention of getting myself a good career, but I guess I think differently to you. I don't view kids as an obstacle, I’ve enough faith in myself to know that I have it in me to have children and a career.
I'm not saying that getting your career while you’ve kids is easy - its not it is really hard work and very draining, but I'm just trying to let you know that being a Mum does not mean you can't get the career you want.
Its like you said, its not the right time, but its happened. Its the same for me, I could have done without having to take a year off when I only have one semester at uni left, but you work around it and figure it out.
I guess I am trying to talk you into the baby, but its ultimately your decision - just make sure it is your decision and not that of your partners, you are the one who will have to live with the consequences, not him so if you do have an abortion make 200% sure it is because you feel you have to.
Answer:
First off, this board has a whole lot of pro-lifers, so I hope you have a thick skin…
Secondly, no-one can make this decision for you hun. If you think that you will live to regret an abortion, then don't do it, because it'll constantly be on your mind and you'll feel worse as time goes on. However, do you think you would regret having this baby? Do you think the baby would suffer for it?
There are a lot of things for you to consider - would you be able to return to education if you gave it up now? Could you make it work?
It sounds like his mind is already made up, but it's your body and if he's any kind of man, he'll stand by your decision either way. And if he doesn't, then he was never your Mr Right.
Good luck, I hope it works for you whichever way you go.