Sep
okay so i published a question about my bf a while ago saying that he wont wear condoms and said he’ll pull out before he cums!! well the truth is he didn't and Guess what now im pregnant i was stupid to believe this would work but love is blind!
okay so im 16 and he 19, ive told him that im keeping the baby coz i believe abortion is wrong especially as THiS is my fault not my unborn baby's fault! he stated he’ll stick by me and i thort that was really sweet. until i one day when he was in the shower he received a text from his ex so i opened it read
“the other day was so good must do it again some time”
when i asked him about it he denied it until i asked his ex and then he said he did cheat on me with her!
and the really shocking thing is ive just found out that she is also pregnant with his baby, me and him have been together 5 months and his ex is only 10 weeks pregnant! (so he must be a cheat) he says the baby isn't his thou!
he says he loves me and it was a mistake and that he wants me and him to give it ago!! what should i DO???
and should i believe him when he says the baby isn't his?
and should i give it another go for the sake of our baby?
am i being selfish making my baby be raised by a 16 year old?
help please many thanks!
please dont give stupid answers i know ive made mistakes but they do happen and please dont judge me! thanks! x
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Look Rebecca- He's an idiot and a cheat and he will NOT stand by you in any case scenario. Get used to that because he's 19 and sowing his oats.
You can be pretty much gaurenteed a life with you and this unborn baby on your own
You don't state how far gone you’re but have you told your parents? Are they in agreement with the decision not to have an abortion?
I know you said you don't want to have one because you think its wrong but you need to understand that the baby only has a heart beat from 7 weeks and even then- its still just a mass of tissues. I myself am against the upper limit (UK) of 21 weeks but under 12 you should be thinking “can I cope with this at my age”. I'm 20 and only just get by. I'm on my own now with the baby shes 6 months old. Its hard work- up most of the night for the first 3 months. You'll sleep 2 hours at a time and you'll be fatigued. If you’ve a difficult labour this is only harder.
I'm not trying to convince you but please consider what you can do for a child and do for yourself.
If you do decide to stick to your guns and have the baby I advocate the following:
Get Prenatal care started straight away and tell your parents of your decision. Save up money each week or purchase something each week until your due date. Get friends and family to purchase small things for the baby (nappies, clothing, bed linen, towels, toys etc). I'd also advocate breastfeeding the baby. Being young its hard to adjust to being a mom and I found that it helped a lot. There's a special bond between you and the baby and it feels lovely. You'll get a lot of assistance with it. While being pregnant be sure to get plenty of sleep - especially near your due date. You'll miss it once the baby is here!
I hope some of my comments don't offend you. They were kindly meant. Good luck with it whatever you decide.
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Honestly, good luck with it but please take all my advice and look after yourself and the baby. That baby is all that matters now and I respect your decision to keep it.
I wish you luck for the future Rebecca. Take care x Report Abuse
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If he didn't admit to cheating on you until he got busted out how do you know that isn't his baby? The question you have to ask is how are you going to deal w/ the fact this might be his child and it possible have to be in your life w/ him? I don't know but I would not be comfrotale w/ this situation….
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All I’ll state is this… I'm a grown woman with a lot of life experience, and if you so much as trust one single word he states you're in for a world of hurt. He'll tell you any lie you're willing to listen to, to get his way. He's already proven that by bringing children without parents being together into the world. End of discussion.
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Well you need your BF to be on the birth cert. You will want him to pay child support for the next 18 years. So unit the babies born, don't make too many waves, don't sleep with him any longer and maybe get a lawyer involved.
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adoption doesn't mean you don't love your baby if your giving it up purely for the reason that you want it to have a better life, than the one you think you will be ably to provide for it.
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i would give it another go, and try to work it out with him, after all the baby needs its father in its life, you never know how things will turn out. have you told your parents about this?
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get rid of him that would be a sin giving your baby a father like that.i personally wouldnt keep the baby you’ve re whole life ahead of u u havnt even lived yet but good luck and god bless <3
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First of all tell your parents. Yes, they might be upset at first but it's happened. Speak to them and see how they could help you. If you decide to split with your bf will they support you??
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You don't need anyone in your life right now that will stress you. If my man cheated on me I would leave him in a heartbeat. Good luck to you and your baby!
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Have you considered adoption?
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drop his *** and drop all ties with him
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I think that for you and your baby's sake you should hold off on a romantic relationship with him till after you and his exes baby's are born. Then make him get a paternity test. If this child is his then your child and this other one will be siblings. Waiting till these children are born is most likely what is ideal for everyone. It keeps the stress away in case he keeps going back and forth between you and his ex. If the baby isn't his then I would consider starting up another relationship with him. Make sure he is in this for you and the baby, not to keep from having to pay child support.
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Oh sweetie, I feel very sorry for you. Your situation does not sound good at all. If I were you I would dump the guy because all the solid evidence points to him cheating on you. You can't count what he states as solid evidence because people have flaws and you don't know if he’s telling the truth, so look at the facts and make your own decision, but I honestly think he's not worth staying with. And honey, you seem like a smart, strong girl who can hold her own and if you decide to raise this baby and get rid of the guy, I think it will be tough but you could do it.
I would also think about finding a couple to adopt your baby. Adoption does Not mean that you don't love your baby–it means that you care about your child enough to give it a home and a better life than you yourself could give it. There are lots of great couples out there who cannot conceive, and through adoption the child would have parents who are already financially stable and could offer the child a better future than you could right now. Many families even keep in contact and send you photos if you want them to.
Try going to this website:
http://www.americanadoptions.com/
I wish you the best of luck :).
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listen sweetie….have your baby. DON'T HAVE AN ABORTION TO PLEASE HIM. Your 16 but your pregnant, it is what it is. Now you have to do you.. for you and your baby. You can't worry about him. He needs to get it together but you can't make him do that. If his ex is pregnant by him, then he has a situation on his hands, not you. You just superior make sure that he takes care of his responsibilites. But here’s the ideal advise im going to give you…DON'T TRUST HIM ANYMORE, FK THAT. HE'S DIRTY AND HIS DK IS DIRTY TOO, THEREFORE, HE NEEDS TO WEAR A CONDOM AT ALL TIMES WHEN FKN WITH YOU. if you catch something, your baby could get brain damage. And that's a fact, dont let him fk up your life or the babies life cause his is fkd up. good luck sweet!!
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I'd tell him if you find out that he was cheating he will regret it. I would trust him but watch him. If he got a text from her like that he probably saw her but that doesn't mean he did anything wrong. He may have ran into her at the grocery store or something. Well just see how he acts and if he acts any different than usual than he probably did. Well all I can say is keep an eye on his behavior at least. If he has leave him.
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for your baby's sake, you need a guy who will be there for you… not cheating with his skanky ex. he sounds extremely immature. i'm 12 weeks pregnant and if i ever found out my boyfriend cheated on me, i would never look at him again.
also, adoption does not mean you don't love your baby. in fact, it means the opposite… it means that you love your baby enough to give him or her life, but you know that you can't handle being a parent right now and you want to make sure that he or she has a good, stable life…
good luck… drop the a hole ![]()
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Dump him and drop all contact with him love. Cheaters and liars do not make good father material. Think about all your options, I do not think you are selfish but I got pregnant when I was 16 and placed my son with a loving family and get pictures of him and everything and they were super grateful and it was a great feeling and 3 years later, pregnant with my fiance and another boy, I knew that I made the right choice my first pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck!! Oh, and if you decide to parent, make sure you file for child support- dont let him get off scot-free!
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sadly i think the baby is more than likely his i mean he admitted he made a mistake so its pretty likely don’t stay together for the sake of the baby there’s no guaantee you will stay together no matter what.
age does not matter when raising a baby it matters whether you’ve a home love and money to take care of it.
you can always think of adoption because there are loads of women who can’t have kids who would love them and adoption can bless another family.
think about your choices before you make any decisions.
good luck =]
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well i was 15 when i had my first, it was very unplanned and only had sex once i just wanted to see what it was like and fell pregnant, my daughter is now 13, and i wouldnt change her for anything, its really hard having a baby so young but hundred and thousands of teenage girls do it and get through it,
as for your boyfriend, if i were you i'd get out of the relationship while u still have your sanity! he sounds like a no good looser, of course grant him to be a part of the babies life and be a father to the baby, but you can do superior than that and u deserve superior than that,
when my daughter was 5 i met a really nice guy (so i thought) and spent the next 7 years with him and had 2 children with him, he did the dirsty on me and left me to cope with 3 child 2 of which were his, they were 4 and coming 2 at the time, now i have been with my current partner for 2 years he has been such a great father figure to my 3 children he's breathtaking we’re getting married in 2 weeks time and we’re anticipating his first baby! there are people out there who will take on your baby so dont think what i thought and stay with him becuase u think u'll be alone forever u wont!
good luck
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yes we all make mistakes, and we learn from them.
she mite have lied to you about him cheating with her,
you’ve to ask yourself how well you kno him would he lie to you?
i always state if its meant to be (love) you'll work things out.
i would give it one more chance. and if you think you can raise this baby well then you go for it with or without him your family will support you, and no-one will judge you if you decide not to go through with the pregnancy, you’ll have a bond with this guy forever wether you like it or not. and babies are hardwork watever age you are, you have your whole life ahead of you. i wish i could help you more. good luck hunny x
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You’ve so much going on right now I can only imagine how upset you’re. Guys can be dogs and they do LIE a lot.
I wouldnt worry as much about her being pregnant but more about him and how he admitted he already cheated on you. It could be his baby he doesnt know for sure because I’m sure he doesnt know how many more people that girl was sleeping with but still he cheated.
Just because all this is going on DONT have an abortion stay strong everything is going to work its self out, The guy your with needs to grow up and hes being immature right now which isnt fair to you.
If you don't think you can do it by yourself and you think the baby's dad won't stick around you could always concider adoption as well.
If you really have feeling's for him, and love him try to make things work if I were you I would just keep a very very close eye on him and if he cheats more don't deal with it your better than that.
Your a mommy now, And put you and your baby first. ![]()
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the moment you decided to keep your baby it stopped being about yourself every decision you make will alter the life of your child
Please remember that when you do anything. Is this boy what you want influencing the life of your baby. Think long and hard about what it is you want for her or him cause no one can really make the decision for you. You are a mom now it is up to you to do what’s right. Being young dosen't make you stupid just young keeping a baby at your age makes you brave. Good luck
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I'm sorry to hear you have found yourself in an unfortunate situation. the only thing you can do now is be smart and move forward. At both of your ages, it will be very difficult to raise a baby. I hope you’ve a very supportive family that will help you raise a child because it doesn't sound like he will be there for you - esp if he’s getting text from other girls. If you aren't too far along, please think about abortion - and move on with your life. If not, what about giving the baby up for adoption? There are so many couples out there that have tried to conceive for years and would make wonderful parents.
Now is the time to be SMART girl and consider your future.